Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Cyclofused Dandysloth


The first known creature of its kind, the Cyclofused Dandysloth is the most intriguing of the cross-barrier watersporting subversive lazy creatures of the southern Hemisphere. It is associated with the sloth variety for its cyclical attachments along its twisted extremity; namely the orange-green-purple striped sluggish form. The Cyclofused Dandysloth's feet are composed of rotating glowing orbs that allow for a more energy-efficient lifestyle. These orbs contain solar panels that then power the rotating cycles for a constant crawling movement along both earth and water surfaces.
Classified within the wooly grub family of known species, the Cyclofused Dandysloth is a three-eyed creature, yet the two outside eyes are nocturnal and remain closed until twilight... oooohh, SPOOKY! The Cyclofused Dandysloth now feeds on human detrifuse such as cotton candy, used cotton swabs and Alpha Ghetti. It has two wind up ears that are heat sensitive and may implode if they come into contact with fire. Its furry torso is composed of waterproof buffalo-like fiber that keeps it warm in all of the elements.
There is one weakness of the Cyclofused Dandysloth; if gum lands on its torso and pierces the 1000 year aged secret black marking, the beast may fly into such a rage that its head can swell up three times its normal size... leaking its pink ear juice EVERYWHERE!! This can serve as a fatal blow, otherwise the Cyclofused Dandysloth is virtually invincible and can live several millenium on its solar-powered efficiency. *Note: If you encounter the Cyclofused Dandysloth (which is pictured here life-size) be warned; envoke slow movements but no whispering... instead chatter loudly in gibberish or Pig Latin, it will confuse the beast so much so that it may freeze-up allowing you for a quick escape before it discharges its pink juice all over your shoes!

No comments:

Post a Comment